Lots of sorry excuses have been making rounds on domestic violence. Sadly, most of them have been “claimed” to be triggered by the gabby, uncultured nature of the woman “she just won’t shut up” so they will say. Men are regarded as superiors and hence the role of submission is placed on the woman. With the wind of civilization, westernization has modified the roles of both men and women. This allows women to act and speak in some instances, sadly, when most women seek this inclusiveness in family decisions, the masculinity of must men triggers a selfish ego confusing inclusiveness for disrespect.
Unfortunately, domestic violence is a fast growing trend in our society today. Some even wear it as a badge of honor. It has led to many broken hearts, homes, depression and mental breakdown. It turns family against each other with children in the middle of this hate and confusion accompanied by pain, separation and poor up-bringing. Furthermore, this same domestic violence has rendered our children homeless. Functional parenting has been replaced with autocratic parenting, civilization has been push away to glorify traditional stance, and our women have been excluded in decision making.
Indisputable, no one talks more than a woman; she talks when she is sad, she talks when she is angry, she talks when she is happy, she can even talk when she has nothing to say. She puts smiles and good colour of admiration on the family.
Her composition does not give her a chance for masculinity, and vigorous expressions are out of her list so when tempers are at edge she goes for the mouth and tongue lash. At times we may want to say that our women are mostly controlled by their emotions to speak out, but the woman knows the depth in the thoughts of her man and she has the tool to eliciting response at any point in time. The words she then use at times may be hurtful, insulting and bitter. Her near means of self-defense “a psychology I can’t explain”. Not that her actions and reactions can be fully excused but her weak loquacious nature should by no chance stand as an excuse for a ruthless temper resulting to beating or any form of physical infliction.
Beyond all doubts, most men are stronger than most women and beating a woman does not make you a better man. It doesn’t add your value nor societal respect. In fact, beating a woman implies how poor you can be in trying to work out your love and respect for her. A man is always in charge, and the moment the man keeps to his expectations of being a man, he will command all the respect he deserves.
Women may talk too much but talk is cheap and if you allow your temper to be bought by silly garrulous words, it’s totally your fault and if at all you feel the need to hit something, hit a rock. We might as well get gravels form your aggression; but displacing your aggression directly on you woman is no good at all.
In wanting to be fair to the man here, the woman will have to try to watch the weight of her words in moment of anger and bitterness when she is stared to start a war of words. He is human and as such may allow his emotions take over his behavior. Women need to learn to behave well too for domestic violence to be alleviated. The inattention from couples, the emotional detachment, and many more can be generous enough to bring physical assault and it will be great if we all watch out for these.
Be it economic hardship, poor manners, careless talk or frustration whatever the trigger may be Domestic violence is wrong, brutal and totally inexcusable.
#say no to Domestic Violence
#say no to Broken Homes
#say no to bitter talk
#say no to any form of human abuse
Pocket your temper and let the world be a better place.
Palang D. Mallo
Economist/Writer/Child Activist
[email protected]
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