I must have overslept through the so called “democracy day celebrations”, or shall I say “the democracy day imbroglio” –only to wake up confused and perplexed in the typical fashion of our leaders, with a lingering hangover.

During this deep sleep however, I found myself in the “birthplace of democracy” -Greece, then I zoomed to the place it was nurtured –USA, and then I was quickly teleported back to Nigeria. Here, I witnessed the caricature version of Democracy, and I wondered whether this version was fit to still be called democracy. For instance, it was alarming to see that the fourteen-year-old child called democracy, who was born from military dictatorship in 1999, was still perambulating in diapers and was still learning to walk instead of strutting and running like a like a teenager.

Anyway, it was his birthday so we overlooked the quagmire and took part in the celebration. In fact, a public holiday was declared in the usual Nigerian manner –adding to the number of idle days that are inimical his economic growth.
In the first place, our annual Independence Day celebration is sufficient to encapsulate any sort of democracy or national celebration we deem fit. But currently as things stand, the Government annually declares at least three full public Holidays in celebration of our centenary as a nation. Public holidays are as affordable as garri in Ijebu market; when a notable personality dies, a public holiday is announced; when a trophy is won, public holiday; when the president or a governor feels happy a public holiday is declared.

I must have overslept through the so called “democracy day celebrations”, or shall I say “the democracy day imbroglio” –only to wake up confused and perplexed in the typical fashion of our leaders, with a lingering hangover.

During this deep sleep however, I found myself in the “birthplace of democracy” -Greece, then I zoomed to the place it was nurtured –USA, and then I was quickly teleported back to Nigeria. Here, I witnessed the caricature version of Democracy, and I wondered whether this version was fit to still be called democracy. For instance, it was alarming to see that the fourteen-year-old child called democracy, who was born from military dictatorship in 1999, was still perambulating in diapers and was still learning to walk instead of strutting and running like a like a teenager.

Anyway, it was his birthday so we overlooked the quagmire and took part in the celebration. In fact, a public holiday was declared in the usual Nigerian manner –adding to the number of idle days that are inimical his economic growth.
In the first place, our annual Independence Day celebration is sufficient to encapsulate any sort of democracy or national celebration we deem fit. But currently as things stand, the Government annually declares at least three full public Holidays in celebration of our centenary as a nation. Public holidays are as affordable as garri in Ijebu market; when a notable personality dies, a public holiday is announced; when a trophy is won, public holiday; when the president or a governor feels happy a public holiday is declared.

Oh well, back to the birthday child, I mean Democracy. Are we celebrating his deliberate refusal to grow rapidly in spite of the healthy diet he is receiving or is it the mere fact that he was born for the fourth time like an ‘Abiku’ or an ‘Ogbanje’?
His head, i.e., the executive arm of Government, has outgrown all the other parts of the body i.e., the Judiciary and legislative arms. If truth be told, the head has fared better than all the other body parts. Perhaps its growth lies in the dominance of the other arms of government. It makes it look like democracy is all about itself and as such, other body parts e.g., the Judiciary and legislative arms are relegated to the background.

The hands of democracy, i.e., the legislative arm, are rather too hasty to promulgate laws that provide soft landing for the domineering head. At the same time they are very reluctant to exhume obsolete laws and upgrade them to meet the present needs of the people. More recently, it has become a retirement ground for former executives; therefore it makes more sense for them to feast on trivial laws.

The legs i.e., the Judiciary, the last hope of the common man or the first hope of the oppressor, is the smallest in terms of growth. Ironically, there are more ‘learned people’ (lawyers) in the country, second only to teachers than members of any other profession, yet justice perpetually eludes the common man like a mirage. Little wonder, it is hardly ever mentioned in all the fourteen birthdays democracy has had, even though it is attached to the main body.
Need I mention the fourth estate of the realm? Maybe we should just leave it for another day but I would not forget to mention that it is a ready-to-use tool, perhaps part of the executive.

Democracy has once been described as ‘government of the people, by the people and for the people,’ these words have come to define democracy more permanently. However, Hon. Patrick Obiahogbon, described Nigeria’s case as ‘the government of the cabal, by the cabal and for the cabal’. Somehow, I was skeptical about his coinage but a miniature supposedly democratic event, a few weeks to democracy day, took place and it compelled me to believe that obiahogbon couldn’t be more apt, the NGF election of course! You bet I would not reasonably conclude without mentioning it. The result of that election among many other issues made me pass out during democracy day only to wake up this morning with a democracy day hangover. I better get myself some coffee.

By Bizum Yadok

Bizum is a political and social affair analyst who writes for ViewPointNigeria from Jos.

He can be reached at  [email protected]

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Democracy day hangover by Bizum Yadok